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Life So Far
posted by Brian on May 31, 2004 at 04:30 PM

So my last posting on this site was in December of 2002. And like most new parents, I communicated something about the birth of our children, then disappeared (at least in terms of this site). That kind of thing used to irritate me a little. Friends would have a kid, and we would almost never hear from them again. Now it's easy to see why.

Part of it is the busy-ness. Yes, just as almost everyone who encounters us says, we've got our hands full. Even one kid, of course, forces a level of change in the parents' lives that almost can't be described. Two kids (it seems to our belabored selves) raise that level of change and adjustment exponentially.

But there's more to it than that. Another cliché of having kids is that they change and grow so quickly. That turns out to be true. I still can't keep up in my mind when shopping for them. If they're not with me at the time (and sometimes even when they are), I almost always buy clothes that are too small because the picture in my mind of them is at least a couple of months behind the reality. ("There's no way they're THAT big.") The result of this phenomenon is that life seems sometimes to be moving so fast that it's hard to stop and communicate to others where you are at any particular point. I often feel like I'm waiting for that proverbial breather so I can let everyone know how we're doing. And it never comes.

But the kids are about 18 months old now, and my professional situation seems to be settling down a bit (more on that in a later posting). So, in the spirit of Ralph and Josephine Grove, who wrote a letter to everyone in the family every week for years (I don't know, maybe decades), I'm hoping I can make another run at periodically entering some thoughts, stories, observations, and maybe even pictures and sounds on this site. Even if I'm not getting the breather to help in doing it.

The topic today is films. Picking up on Heather's posting of a little over a year ago, I've been thinking through films in relation to children. (Disclosure: future postings on this web site will, at least 90% of the time, contain the phrase, "I've been thinking about this in relation to the children.") Amy and I aren't ones to build up a library of films just because we like them. (Which is in contrast to our CD collection…) But there are some films I like so much that I want our children to see them. And the recent purchase of a DVD player has only added fuel to the fire.

There are some obvious choices that will have to be added to the educational archive at some point, just because they're family favorites. I'm sure "Blazing Saddles" and "The Blues Brothers" can be justified as educational in some twisted way, but at the very least, they speak to family lore and may help Jamie and Franny understand a bit about why their relatives are…well, the way they are…

Along those lines, a purchase I couldn't resist on a recent trip to Costco was the 5 disc set of all of the Pink Panther movies. Comic genius at its best, I'm not sure what age is appropriate for introducing the kids to them (especially given the sexual innuendo), but we'll play it by ear and see how it goes. After all, I couldn't have been more than about nine years old when I saw "Blazing Saddles." The good news is that Amy and I can bust ourselves up with the Pink Panther on our own until the appropriate time.

But on to the more serious choices, ones that aren't hard to justify in terms of value to children.

Memorial Day has brought up thoughts of "Saving Private Ryan." There are some cheesy moments (especially the last scene, when the time frame flips back to the present), but in terms of an overall picture of what veterans went through in the Second World War, and what war does to a civilization, I think it's one for the ages. And speaking of age, I'm not sure what age a kid would need to be to absorb the considerable and merciless violence in a healthy way, but I'm sure, given the media today, that it's lower than I'm comfortable with. Any thoughts?

The other part of a one-two punch with "Ryan" would have to be "Schindler's List." In fact, sometimes I think it's almost a disservice to consider one of them worthy of an educational archive without the other. Both superbly crafted, they tell of such different angles on the same gigantic story that World War II was.

I personally can't think of "Saving Private Ryan" without also thinking of "Shakespeare in Love." Two vastly different movies, but connected historically. They both came out in the same year (1997, I think) and were the two big contenders for Best Picture at the Oscars. The fact that "Shakespeare" won was a travesty to some, but I didn't mind so much. The reason I would put it in the educational archive is that it was just so dang entertaining. It's a well-crafted story in which language and culture play an important role all by themselves.

Another one-two punch that is directly relevant to growing up is the pairing of "Bend It Like Beckham" and "Billy Elliot." These are both British films about kids/teenagers playing against type, one from a girl's perspective and one from a boy's. Which makes it a good pairing for us.

In "Bend It Like Beckham," a young woman of Indian descent living in London is compelled to follow her dream of being a soccer player, even in the face of harsh resistance from her parents. The same resistance is encountered by young Billy in "Billy Elliot" as he tries to break out of his working-class background to pursue ballet. The nice thing about both of these films is that neither one panders to young audiences by making the story too simple or sugar-coated, yet both are easy to understand. They're also both pretty funny and entertaining for adults (an absolute prerequisite for the educational archive!). I saw "Beckham" with my nephews Robert (who was, I think, 13 or 14) and Thomas (who was, I think, 7 or 8). Thomas pretty clearly didn't get a lot out of it, partly because it was hard for him to understand the English and Indian accents and partly because, well, the film was about girls, and there was a tiny bit of kissing in it. Hard to overcome all that with a boy that age, I guess. Still a great film, nevertheless.

So that's where I'm starting with our archive. (By the way, other than the Pink Panther moves, we don’t' actually own any of these DVDs yet.) I'm interested in hearing about other ideas, so feel free to add comments.

BKM

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Comments

In regards to Pink Panther movies, Sarah saw "Pink Panther Strikes Again" this fall (so just about 6) and laughed her head off at the slap-stick. There will probably be this window where she doesn't quite get the off-color jokes but will be listening well enough to ask the questions we'd just as soon not have to answer!

Not necessarily ranking as educational, but she's loved the Monty Python shows since she was 4.

Actually, here are 2 good recommendations - "Sound Of Music" is pulled out at least once a month and she got most of "Field of Dreams" when she was about 5.

Posted by Heather | May 31, 2004 07:53 PM

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